The silliest booty references in songs aren't meant to elicit laughter—the sometimes-explicit descriptions of derrieres are supposed to flatter females, namely the fat bottomed girls who make the rockin' world go round. Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" does refer to a lady with ample assets as a "heap big woman," but that's nothing compared to the silliest booty references in songs that can be found on this list. It's truly amazing just how many tunes exist that are all about bodacious backsides. However, we're just going to take a look at some of the songs that feature the least poetic posterior-related lyrics.
One of the worst booty references in songs can be found in a tune that doesn't focus on the tush—Sisqó was more passionate about the tiny piece of fanny floss that some women wear to cover up as little of it as possible. But at least he was encouraging women to wear underwear to the club. Here are the offending lyrics from his song: "She had dumps like a truck truck truck / Thighs like what what what / Baby move your butt butt butt." First of all, what woman wants to be compared to a dump truck? And is it really a good idea to include the word "dump" in a butt-related song? At least Sisqó did try to class things up with that awesome violin music.
Wreckx-N-Effect also used an unexpected instrument to make their rear-related song sound more refined, but they went with the more sensual sax. However, it's really hard to take these lyrics seriously: "All I wanna do is zoom a zoom zoom zoom / And a poom poom / Just shake ya rump." Just try to guess what these guys are singing about with these lyrics that read like they were written by a giggly middle schooler. Then there's this gem: "Body is soft, makin' me wanna squish her / More just than a game / A rumper like a sub-woofer." Aren't sub-woofers really loud? They're probably not the best thing to compare a beautiful girl's booty to.
How hilarious is it that this song exists? Here's a line from it: "She was doin' the butt / Hey pretty, pretty / When you get that notion / Put your backfield in motion." So I'm guessing "the butt" is supposed to be a dance craze with the least-creative name ever? There's also a part of the song that refers to girls with "big ol' butts" by name. Here's an example of those lyrics: "Tammy got a bubble butt (Oh yeah?) / Little Keisha got a big ol' butt / Now, gimme the butt!" I'm sure girls whose names got mentioned felt extremely special when they heard this song, but isn't it creepy how singer Gregory "Sugarbear" Eliot demands the butt in that last line?
Oh, where do I even start with this song? From the butt-loving declaration at the beginning to the fanny-shaped fruits and vegetables in the music video, it's a bootylicious masterpiece. However, I found this little gem nestled amongst the references to anacondas and skinny Cosmo models: "Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin / You say you wanna get in my Benz?" Did Sir Mix-A-Lot seriously just spin the name Rumpelstiltskin into a solid gold reference to glossy glutes? It will be hard for any artist to ever top his tune dedicated to the tush.
Yes, female singers are capable of making bad booty references, too. I admit that I'm a fan of "Bootylicious," but this line always makes me wince: "I don't think you're ready for this jelly / I don't think you're ready for this / 'Cause my body's too bootylicious for ya babe." I'm guessing the "jelly" she's referring to is her most amazing, awe-inspiring asset. However, it just always makes me think of cellulite. And I just end up feeling totally jelly because it doesn't seem like Queen Bey suffers from the cottage cheese curse.
Oh, Fergie. She reduced her body to a quivering mass of humps and lumps in this silly song. Here's an example of the stellar songwriting: "My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love) / You love my lady lumps (love) / My hump, my hump, my hump (love) / My humps they got you." Is it just me, or does this read like it was written by a love-stricken camel suffering from a stroke? However, the song is so ridiculous that it sort of works. And it is the perfect tune to play when you're celebrating Hump Day.
This is what happens when country singers try to take part in the booty song craze. Here are a few laughable lines: "Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on / That honky tonk badonkadonk." That's right—he used the word "britches." But here's the worst line in Trace's tune: "Got it goin' on / Like Donkey Kong." What does Donkey Kong got goin' on, exactly? He's a mean video game gorilla who kidnaps a lady and flings barrels at the man trying to save her. And what woman wants to be compared to a huge hairy meanie?
There are plenty of other songs that probably belong here, and Soulja Boy might deserve his own separate list of silly booty references in songs. However, I just focused on the butt-centric songs that get stuck in my head occasionally. So can you think of any really bad lyrics that reference rear ends that are worse than those mentioned above?